Friday

How do you collect vaginal secretions

Your probably wondering who in the world would want to collect human biological fluids let alone want to handle any on a daily basis. I have to tell you that the amount of research that is currently being performed in genomics, proteomics, cell analysis and drug discovery is expanding every year just so we can reach those boundaries of technology to diagnose and treat diseases. Life Science Researchers and diagnostic manufacturers need companies such as Lee Biosolutions with our dedicated team of scientists help supply protein rich biologicals and purified antigens. ( I had to get a good plug for us somewhere in the intro)

I have to tell you that Lee Biosolutions has become one of the most recognized sources of human biological products in the world. Your right, I don't have any real data to back this up but off the top of my head if you know of anyone who can collect 500 liters of human saliva or 15 liters of human semen and ship to 22 different countries, let me know and I'll say I'm the second most recognized or third, whatever. I know we are in high demand in addition to the proteins we isolate for the clinical diagnostic industry (more stroking, I know).

You've probably already clicked on the link of our biological fluid line and saw fluids such as Human Urine , Human Semen and also Vaginal Fluid . Yes, we do have protocols and I thought I would share the one that gives me the most grief with my friends. Now listen, if your pissing razor blades or have some festering Chancroid , your not on my list of donors unless a researcher from Helsinki calls me up and wants a donor with some STD that I have to look up how to spell the dang thing let alone find out if I even want to meet someone with it.

Believe it or not we do have protocols for the following:
Vaginal Fluid Protocol:
Containers: Lee BioSolutions, Inc. provides containers with lids, labeled and marked with tare weight. Be sure to put your name on the container next to your donor number in permanent ink. Please take care not to allow any contamination by other materials or liquids. Vaginal fluid must be frozen after collection and kept frozen at all times. The donation may be delivered to our office or you may call us to arrange a pickup.

Procedure: Current technique for collecting vaginal fluid is as follows:
Be sure to note how many days before or after ovulation. When you feel a greater degree of wetness during sexual arousal by manual stimulation gingerly use the plastic pipettes provided by inserting into the vagina and sucking on the inside edge . Pipette the vaginal fluid into the vials provided. Secure the cap, label the date and place in the freezer.

If there are other methods that you have discovered that works, please notify us so that we can pass along.

Payment: When the vaginal fluid is received it is weighed in the container, and the weight of the container is subtracted. Checks are sent out within two weeks of receipt of the donation to the address shown on the consent form. Understand that Lee BioSolutions, Inc. will not pay for any donations below the minimum analyte level or for any adulterated material. If product is found to have been adulterated, a permanent suspension of your donations will be enforced and no payment issued.

More to come when I have time. I am looking for someone with renal tubular proteinuria. If you have been diagnosed, shoot me an email.I dont' want to be rude but if you don't know what it is, you don't have it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Send me a 55 gallon drum!!

Anonymous said...

i cannot stop laughing at the 55 gallon drum joke and this is the single most interesting, most sickest thing ive ever read in my life!!!